I’m Human Like All The Rest.
A not so short analysis of me!
I hate to be rude, yet I’ll straighten that crooked picture on your wall and snap off your blaring TV set.
I love people but hate large crowds, I’m as gentle as a dove and go around mediating and patching up quarrels between others, but I enjoy a good argument myself.
I’m good natured and pleasant, but I can be sulky and I hate taking orders.
I’m reasonably intelligent yet incredibly naive and gullible and I’ll talk your ear off if given the chance, I’m an incredibly good listener if you need me.
I’m a very restless person and always in a rush or hurry. ‘Are you confused? Your not alone, I quite literally confuse myself at times.
Lots of people will tell you that I’m in love with beauty, sweetness and light, that’s fine as far as it goes, but it stops a little short of accuracy.
I am however in love with the ‘Thought’ of beauty, sweetness and light.
Don’t ever think I’m perfect, it’s a very rare occasion that I am, in fact, I’m very often one way or the other.
I can be annoying, quarrelsome, stubborn, and restless, almost always I have a markedly pleasant expression, even when I’m angry I will manage to look mild or at the very least neutral, just don’t piss me off.
I’m the only person I know on this earth who can say ‘I hate you and I’m going to punch you in the face’ and sound as though I’m reciting ‘oh, how I love you’ Unless of course you have really crossed the line. ‘Care to put it to the test? I thought not.
I’m not fat I’m full of curves not angles and my hair is as curly as it get’s (Often Wishing I had inherited straight hair instead) I can never make up my mind if I have made a mistake or not, I can be very indecisive I’ll talk up a storm and monopolise the conversation, then I’ll listen intently with flattering interest.
When others are fighting I’ll be the peacemaker and smooth their ruffled feathers.
I seek harmony in everything and everyone, I don’t like shouting nor do I like being shouted at.
For days, weeks or months I can be too busy to play, I burn the midnight oil which can wear others out just to watch me, then suddenly I’ll sit down on a chair and say ‘I’m bushed’ and give the best imitation of laziness you’ve ever seen. Actually once I’ve sat down you won’t get me moving a muscle if I can help it, but I really need to be burnt out to sit down in the first place.
It will be an effort for me to even pick up a cup, if there is anyone around to do it for me, I’ll willingly sit there and let them.
If you try to tell someone who has been exposed to my lassitude that I’m a creature of powerful drive, someone else will say ‘That lazy bum’
My character is made up of equal parts of kindness, gentleness, fairness, plain cussed argumentative, stubborn refusal to capitulate, philosophical logic and indecision.
I’ll argue with you about what time it is, for instance if I think your watch is a minute off. I hate lateness you either have to be bang on time or early like me or it sets me off.
Nothing is more painful than watching me trying to make a decision without going into the why’s and what for, I hate to be pushed and hurried, once I’ve made my decision that’s it.
Impulsive people who don’t stop to consider the consequences give me panic attacks.
I’m scrupulously honest in business and as a whole, I would rather get it right than make a false start and I hate exaggeration.
I have a love of books and writing you’ll find a small library in my home or certainly you would have if I hadn’t had to give most away to charity for lack of space.
I love the harmony of properly used words in books and in poetry, I love art, if a picture tells a story then you have my uninterrupted attention.
I have a dry sense of humour but can be very witty, although often it takes a while for the penny to drop.
I’m a neat and tidy freak; okay, I’m hugely OCD I like everything in it’s place and facing a certain way, if I see one bit of fluff on my carpet I must Hoover the whole carpet sometimes it’s so bad I drive my family nuts.
I’m a little old-fashioned and that drives everyone nuts, I don’t like men doing household chores unless of course the woman is so ill she can’t do it and they offer, I would never ask my hubby to do it.
In business I’m fair, square and always on the level I cannot continually sit behind a desk, I have to get my hands dirty like my employee’s, I won’t ask a member of staff to do something I can do myself.
I get restless so always have the need to be moving and doing, in spite of my often shy, gentle manner, I’m not an island.
There’s always a need to communicate with others, I’m a persuasive talker and a great debater and I can sway a roomful of people effortlessly.
I’m an amazing saleswomen I don’t just ‘talk the talk, I walk it too’ and I’ll work happy in my surrounding, just don’t distract me.
I’ll love you today for what I disliked of you last month, I’ll never hold a grudge my frowns are only skin deep, but my smiles are real.
I’m far more likely to avoid a nasty scene than to court one, there may be a little ice around the edges, but ice melts.
I’m tactful and diplomatic I get along with anyone, treat me right then there is no need for tension.
You’re only human, you don’t have to have it together every minute of every day.